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February 26, 2017

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14 Year Old Child Bride Facing Death Penalty for Murdering Husband -

Saturday, November 29, 2014

BREAKING: New Coal Disaster In West Virginia -

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

U.S. Hostage Freed by Colombia’s FARC Rebels (Video) -

Monday, October 28, 2013

Here’s Why The Zimmerman Verdict Matters -

Sunday, July 14, 2013

BREAKING! UK Government Spied On Allies At TWO G20 Summits (Video) -

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Swiss Support Tougher Asylum Legislation as Refugee Numbers Spike -

Monday, June 10, 2013

American Woman Killed in Syria Fighting for Terrorists, Syrian TV Claims (Video) -

Friday, May 31, 2013

CO2 in the Air Reached its Highest Level in Human History -

Friday, May 10, 2013

Terms of the New Abortion Bill Agreed by Irish Cabinet -

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Boston In Lockdown As Manhunt Intensifies -

Friday, April 19, 2013

2 Dead, Dozens Injured After Boston Marathon Bombing -

Monday, April 15, 2013

Fast Food Workers in New York Stage Surprise Strike -

Saturday, April 6, 2013

N. Korean Rhetoric Provokes Missile Shield Deployment -

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Eyewitness Accounts from Meiktila Massacre -

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Sudan to Free All Political Prisoners -

Monday, April 1, 2013

A New Free Press In Burma Juxtaposed With Genocide: The World Will Be Watching -

Friday, March 29, 2013

Pressure Builds to End Ethnic Violence in Myanmar -

Friday, March 29, 2013

Activists Demand Action As Further Genocide Looms -

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Cyprus Reaches Last-Minute Bailout Deal With EU -

Monday, March 25, 2013

Myanmar Muslims Brace for Possible Genocide -

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

E L James

Holy Cow! Fifty Shades of Eye-Rolling Mind-Numbing Bad Writing!

I’ll start with a few confessions: All the hype surrounding E L James’ erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey finally prompted a download to my Kindle. However, a stockpile of Bing Rewards meant I didn’t actually have to pay for what may be the most horribly edited book ever to become a bestseller.

Simply put, curiosity finally got the better of me after having a few good laughs with my husband over all the delightfully negative reviews already on Amazon (17,140 customer reviews and counting). Plus, I wanted a lite read for a long weekend drive. Not to mention, various snippets have shown ladies from The ViewGood Morning America, and countless other shows referring to how hot the book got them. What’s titillating about this book? Nothing. For supposedly being an S & M novel, the sex is surprisingly bland. And repetitive.

What bothered me the most as a reader is how the story is narrated in first-person point of view, and yet the author still uses italics to represent Anastasia’s banter with her sub-conscious. Ana’s repeated reference to her vagina as being down there creates unintended comical effects. Yes, Ana’s head is apparently in her vagina. She is a horribly conceived character devoid of personality, except for the moments when she refers to others by their defining traits, such as Blonde One and Blonde Two.

Fifty Shades TrilogyAlthough unlikely, it’s believable that a young woman would remain a virgin throughout four years of college. What is less believable is Ana’s never having experienced an orgasm. Specifically, the reader soon sees that almost anything can make Ana climax. Then one must consider she does not have her own lap-top or even an email address! Reasons are never given why she is best friends with a wealthy roommate. Plus she’s a decidedly British girl who likes her tea bag out. Yeah, all college students living in the land of Starbucks eschew coffee for tea. The scene where Ana vomits after downing five margaritas was almost good. Throughout the rest of the book she’s drinking wine all the time, so as with everything else, she seems to lose her innocent qualms quickly.

Then there’s Christian Grey. E L James does manage to create a few intriguing motivational points to establish his character, but they fail to coalesce into believable actions. For being such a supposed dominant, he’s always giving in to Ana. This young billionaire is on the phone a lot, but it’s never clear how he made his fortune. Given his age, the author should have fashioned him after Mark Zuckerburg. The way E L James incorporates the clauses of their contract and emails between Christian and Ana read as filler and the sure mark of an amateur writer. But it’s shame on the editors and publishers, not the author.

Even if Fifty Shades of Grey did get started as Twilight Fanfiction, there is no excuse for how shoddily it reads. E L James obviously knows little about the geography of North America, and much of the gallivanting about did little to advance the story, particularly the narrator’s trip to her mother’s in Savannah, Georgia (My guess is that it might be the one place in America the author has some familiarity with since she was specific enough to put the mother’s house near Tybee Beach.) Alas, a re-write could have set the novel in and around the author’s London home rather than the far-flung Seattle location. Perhaps then the setting details would have added, rather than, detracted from the story.

All novels show promise. It’s just extremely disheartening that Fifty Shades of Grey was published with such rough edges. Anyone who gives this book a passing score really needs to re-think their criteria for good books. Or maybe this book precisely appeals to its niche. Just like Edward and Bella make for trite and boring lovers, so too do Christian and Anastasia make for dull and uninspired sex fiends.

Is Fifty Shades a book you love to hate? Or did you love it?

JeriWB’s Rating: 2.0 Stars (“Didn’t Like It”)

For more insight, read my Book Review Criteria or visit the Review Request Page.

This review was originally posted on JeriWB: What do I know?

Jeri (9 Posts)

Jeri Walker-Bickett was born and raised in Wallace, Idaho, a rough and tumble mining town with a checkered past. The storytelling urge struck at a young age, but an undergraduate degree in writing led to a graduate degree in English education. Between living the scholarship-laden life of an academic bum, she did seasonal work in national parks. Jeri met her future husband in Yellowstone and they later married in Las Vegas. This phase in their lives sparked an obsession with food and travel. Fate has intervened to allow her to take time off from the classroom. Her forthcoming novel, Lost Girl Road, is a ghost story that takes place in the woods of northwest Montana. She currently lives in North Carolina with her husband and their pets.